In addition to losing 40 pounds this year, something else I’m working on is becoming an entrepreneur. I shouldn’t say becoming because I already am one. I just haven’t translated that into earning cash yet. I’ve translated it into lots of podcast listeners, blog readers, super amazing activities. But I’ve had a block with actually making money out of it.
Oh, it’s easy to say, “wait, nobody makes money from podcasting and writing. It’s just a labor of love.” But that’s not actually true. There are plenty of people out there in the world making money out of podcasting and writing. Even writing and podcasting on really obscure subjects.
I’m part of a history podcasts group on Facebook, and there are at least 50 people in the group who are making living wages doing podcasting full time. I know for a fact that I am as smart and talented as any one of them.
So what’s been holding me back?
I am convinced that what’s holding me back from being a really kickass successful entrepreneur is the same thing that’s been holding me back from losing weight, and really living full on. There’s something there about not wanting to be seen, not wanting to be noticed, wanting to just fade into the background.
I don’t know exactly what it is, or where it came from, but the first fear that always comes up when I think about being a full time podcaster who is making a boatload of money from it is, “but who are you to do that? What will everybody think about you doing that, especially when lots of them have way more experience in it than me?”
There’s something about being a showoff, or stepping in to where I don’t have enough knowledge, or something about being seen. I kind of want to get on with things and be invisible, which is how I was at my old job. I got on with things quietly, I went to meetings, but mostly I was just working at home doing what I was meant to do, and making amazing things happen, and nobody really even knew it was me doing it.
It was all meant to change this past year in Spain. I was meant to have lost the weight, and really become successful on my own. That didn’t happen, and now we’re still in Spain for the foreseeable future. I’m convinced that there’s a reason behind it. This is my second chance to make the amazing shit happen, and I’m not going to waste it.
So here’s what I’ve done so far.
I signed up for Weight Watchers at the end of July, and am down about 10 pounds so far. Which is great, but I am struggling daily. Yesterday I stress-ate 6 spoonfuls of peanut butter because Hannah refused to take a nap, was on a serious sugar bender, and literally every other word out of her mouth was either, “I want,” or “why?”
Oh my God, it was awful. I was seriously hiding in the bathroom shoving peanut butter into my mouth at one point. No joke.
But I logged it all into my WW app, and I still have 19 weekly points left, so I’m not too far off the game yet.
I also shelled out for a business coach.
This was the hardest for me because I really think I know a lot about business. Like, I read business books, and I can totally see stuff in other people. I could be a coach. I see other businesses failing, and it’s like, “well hang on, why don’t you do xyz?”
So why do I need a coach?
Because you can’t see it in yourself. I realized that I spent the last year throwing an amazing amount of shit at the wall, and none of it really came to any kind of fruition. This is because, I suspect, I have been confusing the Universe. I recognize the whole Law of Attraction scene, and I know that I need to be laser focused and just stay focused on one thing at a time, and then I will be rewarded.
This past year I threw the following at the wall:
- my podcast
- self publishing courses
- podcasting courses
- my books
- library consulting work
- writing about ebooks in libraries
- my blog
- tours for the podcast
- books with other podcasters
And so you see, the Universe had nowhere to actually make anything happen. It was too scattered.
So with the help of my business coach, I am narrowing things down and focusing. It’s all about Renaissance English History. I make that happen through:
- the podcast
- tours and retreats that are marketed through the podcast
- historical books that are marketed through the podcast
- doing business coaching for others who want to start a podcast or take their podcast and technology to the next level
- virtual tours about the history of my favorite cities in England
See, it’s all much more focused on English history, which is my passion anyway, much moreso than just writing about ebooks for the sake of them. I’m quite happy to help people self publish, in the context of history.
I’ve been working with her for about 2 weeks now, and I’m already feeling much more laser sharp.
And so, I’m Law of Attraction-ing myself an amazing life where I get paid to study Renaissance English history, and help others to discover and explore their own interests in history.