So this blog is about me tracking making my dreams come true, and the big overall goals right now are around my body, and my business. The two B’s.
It’s been a hard few days. Hannahbear has been sick again. The poor girl seems to catch every big that comes around, and it’s frustrating for all of us. Over the summer when she wasn’t in her preschool she was fit as a fiddle. Now she spends every other week at home because of catching some germ or another. We need to do a better job washing her hands as soon as we pick her up, and not letting her get overly tired, and taking good care to ensure she gets enough rest. She’s just so active, even when she’s sick the only way to make her sit still is to let her watch TV.
I’ve thought about pulling her out of school entirely since it seems to be such a waste of money to pay for her to go to school and have her miss half the time. But she loves going, it’s only 4 hours a day, and I reckon that we either go through it now, or we go through it when she’s older. One way or another, I think we have to go through these childhood immunity issues. It makes me wonder why I spent so much time and agonizing effort exclusively pumping when she was a baby to ensure she got my breast milk when she wouldn’t nurse. It doesn’t seem to have made her immune system that much stronger. Perhaps it would be worse if I hadn’t it would be even worse. Who knows.
Anyway, how this relates to my body is that I find it incredibly difficult to be out of my routine. I am a creature of habit, and when my routine gets messed up, I go into a tailspin. So when Hannah is home, I have a very difficult time ensuring that I eat well, and take care of myself.
A big part of this is because I am an emotional stress eater, and I need a lot of Alone Time each day to not be stressed. When I don’t get that because I am mothering a sick child, I resort to snacking on chocolate truffles, caramel cookies, and other things that aren’t on my Weight Watchers approved diet. While Hannah is watching Octonauts I sneak into the kitchen and gobble up a few truffles out of the fridge.
Additionally, I don’t get my 10k steps in as regularly. You’d think I would because I spend less time just sitting in front of a computer, and more time walking around doing things, but I don’t get large chunks of walking time in like I do on my own, and so I wind up struggling to get those 10k steps.
Last night I was 1000 steps short, and I made the decision to take a bath instead of do the steps.
And yet somehow, I am still nearly at my weight goal this week, which is 218 pounds. I was 218.4 this morning, and my weigh in day isn’t until Monday. I should be able to make it easily. I just need to lay off the truffles.
Hubby took Hannah out for a few hours so I can get some work done, which has been great. I haven’t actually got much work done so far, but I’ve done a lot of thinking, reflecting, making lists, and generally getting my head back on straight after 6 days of caring for a sick little girl.
There are times when it seems so far away, my first goal of 180. 38.5 more pounds. It’s climbing a mountain.
And yet, all you have to do is take one step at a time. Don’t focus on the top. Don’t focus on how much further you have to go. Set the intention – 180 – and then just keep taking small steps. 218 this week. 216 next week. 214 by the end of October. Don’t think past that. Don’t think yet 207 by the end of November, 199 by the end of December. Don’t let your head start getting sidetracked with micromanaging the plan. Just keep your head down, take one step at a time, and let the miles take care of themselves. Worry about the individual steps, and getting through each day eating as close to clean as possible, and let the pounds take care of themselves.
Then I think, I’ve got this. Booyah.