The past few days have been weird. Hannah is sick again. Sigh. The joys of preschool, I guess. But she should be well enough to go back to school tomorrow, which will give me more time, and let me get back into my routine. Yesterday we all slept in until 12:30 because she’d been up all night throwing up. So much for routine. Double sigh.

Anyway, my weigh in was yesterday. My goal was to get to 214 by the end of the month, setting me up for 206 in November, and under 199 by the end of the year. 2017 is the year in which I will finally start out the year with a 1 in front of my weight for the first time since 2002. In Weight Watchers they call it One-derland. I will be in One-derland by the end of the year. No joke.

So I was thrilled to weigh in at 214.4 yesterday, a week ahead of schedule. It struck me as odd, though, because I haven’t been eating very well. I’ve still been eating chocolate every day. I did find a sugar free hot chocolate powder to make my beloved iced mochas in the morning, so that saves me 4 of my 32 daily WW points, but I’ve made up for it with the chocolate truffles that are now available for Christmas at Aldi.

I think the difference is that I haven’t actually been eating that much. I just haven’t been that hungry lately. When hubby goes to his AA meetings in the evening, I generally don’t make dinner for just Hannah and I, making her something instead, and drinking a hot chocolate made with milk, or something similar instead.

The upshot is that I’ve lost weight. The downside is that I’m still not developing a particularly healthy relationship with food. The scale is going down, which is great, but I know there’s more to it than simply the number. I have to come to peace with food.

Maybe the fact that I’m not hungry so much is a start in that direction, though. I’m trying to be grateful for it, and not argue against it. Maybe this is a sign that I’m not seeking solace through food as much anymore. Maybe this means that I’m just trying to use food for what it’s designed; an enjoyable way to fuel my body. And maybe I need to come back to a center of some sort which includes a few truffles, but also includes healthy things.

Whatever the reason, my trousers are loose, and I can see the possibility of going shopping for new jeans at the after Christmas sales. I’m down 15 pounds since starting WW at the end of July, and I’m excited to reach a monthly goal for the first time in years.

I wish I had something more profound to say about my weight loss this week other than simply saying I’m not hungry. Whatever it is, I’ll take it.

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